Yaah

fuck u!...

this is an answer to everyone and no one in particular..

fuck off.. do what u want with ur life.. don't tell me what to do..
don't come up to me questioning what i am doing now adays.. u know how the dope is coming.. i dont wanna answer u since u are beneath me.. go do ur little thing

vanish - die - eat urself.. i've had enough company for a million yrs you moron... don't come up to me to say hi.. if i want/need to talk to u.. i'll say so myself

dont call me period.. that phone's there .. so that I can call u,

dont ping me... for whatevr the fucks the reason u've invented..
go vote for ur pissant little startup yourself...
knock urself out.. leave me alone..

i dont interfere in ur life.. dont interfere in mine...

i've had enough... really...

don't make opinions.. don't judge, dont name...
i dont either...

in man we trust..

Life rocks ... IIT SUCKS...

firstly warning this is a serious ranting about things that deeply matter...
u are invited to listen(read)..

yaah so life rocks .. before yamaha came up with this slogan or even before zindagi rocks... i was using this as something of a fundaa for life..

but its now utterly in disrepair...
i have not used it for over 6 months . and i suppose i need atleast 2 more months to get anywhere near it..

i dont know why i fell into such an utter shit - but i should have seen it coming.

yaah so now iit sucks..

why ??

no firstly i am not some one who didnt pass JEE, who has a girlfriend stolen by an iitian, or a boss who is an iitian..

i am quite simply an iitian - oh yes the famed choot.. (sorry for the profanity)...

yes so we all come to iit believing it will do justice to us, to our talents ...
it doesnt..
IIT ONLY MAKES ABOVE AVERAGE PEOPLE - IT DOESNT GENERATE GODS period

we are a bunch of extraordinary kids (if u smell pride in this - it is true )
who are so GODDAMN DRIVEN TO MEDIOCRITY that i cannot even start mentioning how stupid we are....
everyone who comes here - and i mean everyone - has come in with a one point agenda - they want a six figure salary at the end of the whole thing... no i am not saying its wrong - being financially independent is so important - and i could'nt agree more- but these extraordinary brilliant people who could change the world if they wanted to just want to become slaves - they want nothing more in there lives than a fat salary and some stupid comforts... thats it ..
we in KGP - have only a one point agenda - create work when there is nothing to do - and do it - work that is so utterly crap --
the college is a reflection of the corporate world, the so called technology societies - are not places where people with similar interest meet up - they are places where there exist different levels of leadership - places with regular meetings - with deadlines attached - in short the complete corporatisation of something that could be so unique and beautifull as a society ..

most people are in society's so tht they can learn to be the perfect corporate machines and write it on their CV's CAUSE THEY ARE SO GODDAMN INSECURE - THEY ARE THE BEST BRAINS IN THE COUNTRY BUT THEY ARE MORE INSECURE ABOUT THEIR FUTURE THAN THE STREET BEGGAR.. -

i always beleived college life was this ultimate utopian time in ur life - when for once u lived in world where its not money or work - it is friendship, love and games that u deal in...
NO BUT THEY HAVE TO GO AHEAD AND RUIN IT ...
THE WHOLE COLLEGE STRUCTURE IS MODELLED IN THE WAY SUCH THAT BY THE TIME U ARE OUT - U GET USED TO A CORPORATE WORLD WITH THE OFFICE POLITICS...

everything is based on that ...

in a place such as this - DONT ALLOW FREEDOM OF THOUGHT TO EXIST - COMMIT URSELF TO THINGS AND DO THEM - EVEN IF U HATE THEM - ITS LIKE BEING STUCK IN A BAD MARRIAGE -

PARANOIA IS RAMPANT - U SHOULD HAVE PREDEFINED PRIORITY ORDERS (WHICH DO NOT FEATURE
URSELF) - U SHOULD FOLLOW CERTAIN PATHS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TAKEN BEFORE U - PATHS WHICH ARE THE SAFE WAY TO PROCEED - SO THAT AT THE END OF THE 4 - 5 PRECIOUS YRS U ATLEAST
HAVE A GOOD JOB - LET ALONE THE FACT THAT U HAVE DOUBTLESSLY BY THAT TIME LOST URSELF

ONLY 25 ODD PEOPLE SHOULD ORGANIZE 40 - 50 LAKH INSTI FESTS - SINCE OBVIOUSLY THE OTHER 6000 PEOPLE IN THE INSTI CANNOT CONTRIBUTE -
IN ALL THIS SQUABBLE ABOUT THINGS LIKE HALL --- OFCOURSE IF U DONT FIGHT .. HOW WILL U CONTINUE THE TRADITION OF THE WORLD.. FIGHT AMONGST URSELF - FORGET THE BIG PICTURE....

DONT TRY TO STAND OUT IN WAYS OTHER THAN THOSE THAT ARE PREDEFINED -


DONT - NO DONT FOLLOW UR HEART - PREDECIDE BY 2ND YR - WHAT - CAT/GRE/JOB

IS THERE NO OTHER OPTION - NO!!! NOT AT ALL FOLLOW THESE PATHS ONLY OR UR GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL

SOUNDS A LOT LIKE RELIGION TO ME....

I AM A 2ND YR STUDENT OF IIT KGP - ITS NOT HEAVEN - MY AIM IN LIFE WAS NEVER TO GET A GOOD JOB - I HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH SELF CONFIDENCE IN ME - THAT - THAT IS NOT AN ISSUE --

MY AIM WAS/IS LEARNING - TRYING - EXPLORING - ENJOYING....

IF U ARE MY SENIOR AND U ARE READING THIS - ITS A WARNING - TRY AND MAKE ME DO STUFF I DON'T WANT TO DO - AND U WOULDNT KNOW WHAT HIT YOU...

I MIGHT LIKE YOU RESPECT YOU MAYBE - BUT I AM NOT DOING STUFF U WANT ME TO DO --
CAUSE QUITE SIMPLY - I AM NOT YOU - NOR WILL I EVER BE.....

THANK YOU...

There are times when we feel down , and there are times when we don’t .. there are times when u want to grow up so fast that it all blurs out. And then come the times when u wish u hadnt grown up so fast – and u wish had somebody – somebody u could talk to in these times, someone – who would tell u ur still a kid, someone who doesn’t judge u for all the things u do, someone u can be urself in front of, I wish sometimes, I wish it bad , that this was not the power game it is …. I wish it wasn’t so tough all the time, u have to take disappointment so often – so often things don’t turn out the way they ought to…

It all comes back to the basic question doesn’t it – the basic question –
Who am i??

I think the biggest challenge we face in our lives is the challenge to really find urself…
I havent been able to find myself – even though I have practically been looking for it for the past 20 yrs..


I want to find myself sometimes and sometimes I just like being lost – I like it that we are lost – I like it that the quest hasn’t ended – what would I do – if I found myself – probably be dissapointed ……….


i am tires now ... i want to sleep ... sleep -- and wake up fresh - happier with myself......

Dreaming on... long after you stopped

There's a new teacher in class today, new as in not only new to us, but new to teaching as well. Naive enough to beleive everyone in class is studying, naive enough to believe that iitians can grasp everything and work very hard.

Naive .... but you know what i saw, i saw that the fact that she thought it was all true, the fact that she held no bitter past and was willing to welcome all, with no burden of the past, made us do better than we normally would, and we were filled with her enthusiasm which was not subject to limitations.

it was soaring free and soon we realized so were we.

For once we had come in contact with learning which was simultaneously setting us free....

ofcourse as time wore on, she did not always remain so, some how the despair won in the end. and we also changed back again, but atleast in those few days we flew - and that would not change with time.

so let us al dare to dream, even if only for a few moments - atleast let us treasure those few moments - and let us keep them as shining memories of brilliant times.

amen .....

---

ITS RAINING AND HOW ..

In the rain thats falling now ..
I sonetimes woonder why and how ...

In the clouds that cover the sky ..
I am looking for something i don't know why..

In the lightning that strikes the ground...
I try to find something that can't be found ..

In the sun that finally shines...
I am looking for otherworldly signs ..

there's an I, me, mine everywhere..
but i can't find a scent of 'u' in the air...

So in the freshly rained earthy smell...
I am trying to find out where i fell..

On the leaves that hold the fallen rain...
I am trying so hard to loose my pain..

On the branches that just turned green..
I am trying to get my slate all clean..

On the forever young green grass around..
I am searching for that long lost sound..

On the muddy roads all so happy wet..
I am looking for someone i haven't met...

..........


may god put a smileon your face ...
.
stay happy ... and forever young......

THE RIGHT THING...


So many things wrong in this world – and yet so many of them so right –
So many things … --- a melting pot of various human emotions each being played out simultaneously with each other – each human at each time an embodiment of some human emotion – and yet at others – standing for something else – and that’s how we have our world – that’s how we inhabit it – that’s how its run – so what is the average person supposed to do in the face of acts of other perfectly average humans – fight for what is rightfully his own – or accept it as the byproduct of ourselves – stand for what is essentially right – but then circumstances are bound to dictate what is right and what is not –

Too many people are deeply patriotic – too many – yet what happens is we pay lip service to the idea – yes we do stand up on both independence and republic day --- proudly recite janagana mana – yes we may even sing a few patriotic songs – we may beam proudly – on the fact that democracy thrives in India ,, while – is no where on the radar in china.. we are all proud of the fact that we have free media ..etc – but how many of us have actually thought of what we do for this country – yeah I know – I am beginning to sound like some stupid git – for whom all there is, is ranting ..
But that’s exactly what I am not doing ..—what I am saying is there are many things u can do – without giving up any of the dreams u have – just remember even ur smallest actions have big effects – u just have to do the right things – u know the things that they taught u at school – things that effectively will take no time at all – example?? –
Well for starters try a little not to throw garbage on the road – switch off lights when not needed – try not to waste water – and think about the amount of resources It takes – every time u use something – things that may appear small – but have catastrophic effect –


For example did u know .. that a village which used to get only 6 hours of electricity every day now gets 24 hours --- because they teamed up with the electricity board – and started using electricity judiciously. – wow..
Right .. that’s what I said ..
People in another village – stopped using tube wells which was causing devastating drop in ground water levels – and started making ponds etc – so that rain water could actually percolate down – and now they have water at 8 meters below ground..—up from – 125 metres below ground level..


Well the rest is just bakwaas.. but – you know.. if u were to do just the little things that u can do – it could make a whole lot of difference..


Maybe enough of us will read the post and decide to change a little part of urself – feel happier for standing up for the right things – maybe u too will do it – and feel happy about taking up responsibility for what is cool..

time -- 19:55
DATE - 15th May 2007
Place - kgp -home?? - (yes maybe this now is home)

there is a weird silence surrounding this place now - the rustle of the trees or the chirping of the birds have never sounded so beautiful as they do here -- there is a weird sense of being at peace with myself - there is a weirdness -- the place usually associated with all the tempo shows me its other side -- there is a weird sense of everything being right -- it is a utopian world out here - its ordered - its beautiful - it is a temple of all the things that make the place worth living as they are --

the soft strains of a beautiful piece of music reach my ears -- as i look up -- i see a
beautiful road -- dim street lamps doting it -- but the beauty of the road doesn't only lie in that - it lies in the many memories that i carry of this road -- its the same stretch of land -- i learnt linked lists on - the same stretch on which i usually shouted out to pavan's balcony -- nine out of ten times eliciting no response -- since Mr Halu -- was not listening -- the same piece of stretch we took innumerable fag breaks -- not to mention the road we roamed around on holi day after being sky high after bhang .. or the same road we celebrated sash's birthday -- the road we tricked nivie into believing all that he had heard during winter vacations was fake --- ...

its really weird since its a small stretch of road no more than 100 meters -- so many memories -- so much fun -- makes me think dont u leave a piece of you every where u stay -- that when u move on -- u have not only taken something but also left behind something ....

life rocks ... seriously ...

May god put a smile on your face ---
...

.....