Current music – aicha

Current location 207.5

Mood – upbeat

Studying till now –finally got the hang of three phase – cool its pretty easy –

Just a little lonely – tried checking orkut no one I know – no body online on any damn messenger --- shit .. well some days are like that only cant help it – u know – anyway –mood upbeat ? well that’s for acads – u know I finally studied –so I am happy –don’t wanna get chucked out of the insti –right?

I was looking at all the buildings of our hostel - u know wondering what is all this meant for –how come we built all these shelters for other humans to live – how did we humans –hunting with imprecise tools – living in caves manage to do all this – I mean think of the average humans time pass – about 20000 yrs ago – hunting –farming – making clothes etc –

The only creative thing I could think of that they would have done was probably paint on the walls –what do we do today –read books – listen to music – and a lot of other stuff – I mean I don’t have to mention all the activities on the computer – but think about making music – I mean did the humans of that time have all these other things to do –to bring out the creative talent in them –it was only survival—right .. wow –how we actually reached where we are amazes me – I mean look at communication –how that has changed – everything – mind boggling –

Another thing –what are all these hostels built for – I mean what is the meaning of all these – they have been built to nurture our talent –to train us to be engineers , MBA’s scientists – etc -- to help evolve the human race further –so that we take the human race to places we cant even imagine – like our ancestors couldn’t have imagined where we are right now – I mean this whole university funda is this right that we are able to evolve further – wow right –its like this –that we humans have this forsight –however bad we may have been – we collectively look towards the future –so that the coming generation can reap the benefits of today –I mean think of Newton –did he actually ever get to see all the progress we were able to make out of his theories –so why did he do it –why in heavens name would somebody go on to invent calculus (personally I ask this question every time I open iyengar) – when there was perceivably no need for it – yeah I know he probably did it courtesy our quest for understanding things –but I thing the underlying thing is survival here – we learnt that --without evolving we would be wiped out pretty fast – so we developed the whole –quest for understanding thing – cool na

So here we are at this place – cause someone somewhere thought and understood that we need to keep changing ----and yet still look at the things surrounding the world – people constantly oppose change –in the name of culture –indentity etc – we feel threatened by change – insecure –when it is in our instinct to change – stupid huh ----

Well what can is say

Well whatever –rounding of a pretty confusing blog –(maybe cause I am dead sleepy --)

See ya

And may god put a smile on that sweet face of urs (strictly for the female kind –guys may u also smile – but I’ll be damned if I ever say sweet face )

tc

Current music – stairway to heaven

Current location ---207.5

Mood –cool

Hey – how is everyone – I know don’t tell me ---acads ----well what can I say – we had a lot of fun today –dinner at LS –hmmm…… malai kofta… …heaven..–poor dheeraj he is still not feeling well ---- but we still had loads of fun –spitting contest outside LS (as in titanic) HK won – absolutely fun – totally awesome --……sometimes words cant explain stuff right .. I mean certain emotions –they cant capture…

Well I was wondering what are words – they are certain guttural sounds – we make that we have understood are supposed to stand for an emotion ---what is that emotion –is everybody’s own interpretation -- its understanding is something deeply personal – that is why languages are supposed to be so much fun –I mean each language has a set of words denoting certain emotions –and depending on the language – the exact degree of the emotion is determined – I mean there’s a reason –why being bilingual is so much fun – right cause there are some words in some languages which capture the perfect emotion in a perfect way – for example zinda and jeevit are both going to be translated in to alive in English –but u know there is a world of difference in the meaning of these word s— or look at haasil –is there a word that exactly defines that in English---that’s why languages are so cool … -

---another interesting thing in languages are cause they are so localized –they evolve in a unique way -- the thing of importance in every language always has many words –defining different degree’s of that thing for example --- in Hindi we have different names for each of our relatives – a necessity –since when we used to live In a joint family –there are usually too many uncles and aunts around d—so u have to give names for every one of them—paternal uncle has one- maternal uncle has one – etc –while in English there is only one name for all ----I ve heard for Eskimos –there are many words for snow ---

cool right –for they are surrounded by snow – so that is the important thing in there life –

well wondering I was –as to what it is in English that we have too many words for – and u know what if u look closely at it –at least in the English we speak –its sex …… ha ha

so coming back to words –words are usually inadequate –to describe that feeling that u have – also there is the theory –that TRUTH cannot be expressed in words –as such if u try to define the truth of love – of what exactly is love – u will know what I am talking about –it is impossible to define love – I mean try to say u love somebody –I mean try to explain into words ur feelings for that person its impossible right –and try defining truth – that’s why eyes are better at communicating –since u can look in the soul of the other person –and it will communicate to ur soul –and that is understanding – understanding someone is not tough –what is tough is to put that guy (gal) into words –I mean how can we define the existence of that person –which is truth itself into mere guttural sounds I mean can u actually define what a sphere is –when u say the world is a sphere –there is that shape u are alluding to which the other person knows about –but suppose u had to explain to someone in mere words what a sphere is would u be able to do it – nope I don’t think so –cool na -- this whole thing is so beautiful that what can I say – I cant actually –

that’s the reason why most of us are born uncomfortable with emotions –since we have to handle them in the currency of language –which is not our true nature –u know on a lighter note –dogs cant communicate supposedly (in words …that’s there definition of communication) but they are more successful in mating – and finding the right people ( oops dogs) – and we supposedly the higher more evolved species --- lost in the world of verbal communication fail to find the right people –since u will say something the other person will think something – so u think like a thousand times before saying – stupid ha ….. ha ha

well what can I say the world is flawed like the people living in it --but it wont be fun without that -- right .. lol cool LIFE ROCKS

may god put a smile on ur face (trying hard to inject true meaning in those words ..seriously may everybody on earth smile today just once .. have there share of happiness and goddd I seriously don’t want anything else from life)

tc

Current music – phantom planet – California
Current location – 207.5 ---balcony –
Mood – upbeat

--I am thinking – what am I thinking —I don’t know – nothing actually – so this is a no thinking blog – well lets –see I was wondering what to do –if no comes –anywhwere – so u see I am bullshitting – lets see –why I am doing that –actually u cant see reason –can u either u understand it or the understanding part is so clear u get it as soon as u lay ur eyes on something ..—so what am I saying anyway – huh –well I don’t know –just wound up a not so bad day -- -- actually got screwed in the viva -- it wasn’t so bad though –so u see my mood – I was late for the lab – then forgot to wear shoes –so had to go back –then the experiment turned out only ok a best –but still as u can see at the top –mood upbeat –well what can I say -- there are days –when u cant help it –u just feel so good –I can remember somebody’s smile – I can remember the sheer fun we had –well goddd----


here I am listening to knocking on heavens door – and suddenly as I type this down –I can see this thought forming in my head –am I knocking on heavens door – cool right – imean I am alive allright –but I feel just so alright –I don’t know as if things couldn’t have been better –actually if u come to think of it thinks could’nt have been better –

having the time of my life – I seem to be having them all the time –well that’s how life is supposed to be – if ur doing it right –it has to be lived in such a way –that u always have the time of ur life ----actually happiness is in our hands right –I mean it really is right – In our hands – god u need to make sure u realize that – smiling is easier than frowning

hey I just had a thought – why do people ask if something is up when they see u madly smiling –see u jump up to catch those little tree branches –cause that is how ur supposed to be – not the glum sad faces the frown –which oddly enough people don’t seem to question – I wonder why ?? –I mean u are asked a question if u seem happy –assuming something is wrong –since god has supposedly made us to be sad all the time – bullshit –he made us so we could play in his garden –while we fragmented it and and I don’t know what we did of it –


so u see god made u happy not anything else –we chose to be sad –stupid huh? –hey do u think its time to change that …--hell yeahh

may god put a smile on ur face

tc

Have my viva –in an hour –am sitting in 207.5—listening to dhaani –in the company of the ever effervescent nivie – and am trying to analyze my thoughts – well lets see –I can see myself listening to the strains of music – thoughts of Dc motor floating around – I find myself channeling positive thoughts about the result of my viva ---

Its in a subject I particularly like –but that doesn’t mean I am good at it – so I say buck ur seat belt and go for it ---am also thinking about a convo –I had sometime again – it has left me thinking about a lot of things –including the person I had the convo with – well what can I say –I am pretty slippery myself –funny although that is what I chastise pavan for most of the time—his crush of the week phenomenon – its like fun ---its like the saif character from D CH – if u know what I mean –

U know I wrote about –knowing u couldn’t have done better –well its true – man I slept today at 6 30 in the morning – cause I was completing my E tech assignment –

Hey I heard about our English teacher having a blog –would like to read it –she’s a character all right –

Lets see my exams are on the 20the and onwards –I have not studied a page –seriously - but I really need to get to work – u know –my maths is week ---my chem. Sucks –I haven’t worked on my e tech – hey coming to think of it – what am I good at

Hopefully u r saying blogging –but I am not so sure -- nivie has this wish for lucky ali songs –lets see -- idiot –but quite the good guy

Music – summer of 69 – reminds me of school –god it was god level – it was quite possibly the coolest time of my life – all we would do all day was have fun – I love our system of school – too good –unfortunately –cut at 10th grade – all those friends –those memories – those times – irreplaceable – the whole idea of growing up – the whole thing – lokhandwala – lokhandwala school --- our complexes –the school ground – hmmmm…



Well my E tech viva’s closer – so if u guys happen to read –it remember the silent prayer for the man on the gallows(me) – see ya

May god put a smile on ur face

tc

Current music - vande matarm
Current location – S 207.5 – balcony
Mood – retrospective

Well I was talking to an old friend of mine – we hadn’t talked in like 7 yrs –we started off fun alright –all school memories –a lot of fun – total timepass – then we veered on to more serious stuff like teenage behaviour – and then finally on to the part of India – of how our country Is doing – its funny how it took someone in the US to make me realize that –there are things I deeply care about –which I once gave a lot of thought to and was now neglecting --- I wanted to teach in slums –in Mumbai –had contacted the organization in Mumbai which would help me do it –then somehow things didn’t materialize – and my sheer laziness –took me off – now that I think of it –may be I blew of somebody’s chance to come up in life – maybe I could have inspired someone –to be someone else – but I out of sheer laziness didn’t do it in the summers – then the idea in the back of my head of teaching in the slums –in the winter instead of teaching for money –struck me and I found myself promising to do it –

Here I was –all I could think of was when I’d next be able to eat pizza – when I realized people starving to death – while I could blow off money endlessly –rest assured the money’s waiting for me in the atm – its horrible – I am a horrible person –but its not too late I am going to change all that and do something I am going to find out about disha –I am going to help it in all the ways I can – I will make sure it is mentioned in the annual mag and the fortnightly newspaper I am in –I will also talk to the required people about the idea of adopting public schools in the neighborhood- while India is starving the select few rejoice –they are too busy thinking about how they can look cool or speculating the next change in fashion – I am going to do my bit for the people around me – lets see –like I said in one of my articles there is no greater satisfaction than knowing u could have done no better –so I will do as good as I can and will actually change the way the world functions at its level ---this is no declaration –it is a promise to myself – so lets see how I go about it --

Anyway the talk was awesome fun – good humour all around – for once I found someone who is really interested to what happens to the masses –she had actually been in govt hospitals in Gujarat –for a few weeks –seeing for herself how things are on the other side of the fence – I on the other hand –have gone 19 yrs without seeing whats life actually is - I want to badly help – u know what it reminds me of the time –I did those anti quota protests – I had never felt so alive --the one day hunger strike deserves special mention since that was like the first day in my life i had fasted and i am so happy i did it for a cause and beleive me even with no food in the stomach --we had felt more alive than anybody could -- so I guess this is one other thing which I am intensely passionate about –so I guess its time to take the plunge –


May god put a smile on ur face …

Tc


Ps: see ya for now I take the plunge into my e tech assignment – and viva prep

I was reading the newspaper just now and I read an article regarding the emotional effect on a family which has faced the murder of a family member -- and because I was recently selected for a fortnightly newspaper I was thinking what it would be to face such a situation as in to write such an article u would have to interview the family in question – and because becaue of the obvious emotional aspect – how would I be affected – I mean to write such an article i would have to make sure that I do justice to both my readers and the family in question – -- I would have to sell the story and at the same time make sure I remember the fact that these are true emotions I am talking about – these things have actually happened to somebody

– I mean do we actually realize when we read newspapers that these are not some bland statistics – but real people – I mean nowdays – when we read in the papers that –for example 5 people have been killed in guwahati – do we realize that that these five people had five families – which would at that very moment be grieving the loss of their dear ones – we have become so immune to this whole thing – it just doesn’t make a difference to us – what we are looking for is more people being killed – when u see 200 killed – then u look up and notice as if the death of 5 people is acceptable and the death of 200 people is not – there is also the fact that –why do we see death as something so tragic – ( at the risk of sounding heartless -- ) we naturally assume that the person in question has something to greave about – I mean maybe – he is at a better place –

what I have learnt from my experience – is the importance of completing things – and more importantly completing relationships – since life itself stands for unpredictability – u cannot take it for granted that the person in question will still be alive when u are ready to reconcile – don’t wait – since u don’t know how much time u have in this world – I firmly believe that fighting with people u love or people whose death u cannot consider without pain is a sheer waste of time – since u are losing out on the time u could have spent together and time is something which we humans frankly cannot afford to waste – obviously this doesn’t mean that we proceed with life in frenzied hurry – actually it should mean the exact opposite since when we actually leave this place what would matter is not what u accomplished in life but rather what did u see in life – where u able to see its absolute beauty – whether u felt all ur five senses – whether u noticed those sounds in the background which ur mind tend to block – whether u noticed the vividness of the colors which ur eyes could perceive – whether u smelt the earthen smell accompanied by the first rains – whether u felt the soft freshly falling snow – whether u appreciated the spices on that hotdog u just had – whether u actually felt connected to ur partner in the act of making love – whether u experienced the heaven that this place really is --

being able to appreciate these proofs of life is the biggest gift u could inculcate in urself – it makes ur whole life a song and dance affair –u live totally in the now and there is no fear since u have tasted life like few before u have – but what is also important is to go after those dreams that u have nurtured since childhood – being able to fight the good fight for ur dreams is the best thing u can do – since the satisfaction of knowing that u did the best u could is irreplaceable – there is no bigger satisfaction on earth than knowing u could have done no better –

I have ranted for far too long on the stuff I not necessarily set out to discuss –but that is the nature of the human mind –to jump from one thing to another all joined to each other by a small thread – see ya

May god put a smile on ur face

tc